“No one gets lynched for exfoliating”
Infinity vape gauntlet
I want to move to New Jersey
“Gays are using windmills to waft homosexual mists into your home”
Well that’s a pivot
“A loose cannon eventually points your way”
those are the holes poked in the container so we can breathe
Brad and his cloud of LIES
Perks of being an immortal being
Babies are absolutely biodegradable
Mainstream consonants ugh
“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”
Lesbian penguins are so progressive.
Makeup brand new lexicon
And a sand repellent anus
I really wish people would check if the sentence is brand new before posting it here
A non profit whoreganization
I wish I could go back to the way things were before I read this and it made sense to me
“This post came into my house, took me by the ankles and swung me into every available surface”
Fasten Your Meatbelt
Never thought I’d see this combination of words
smells like home
Brand new and 100% accurate
That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate the lord
Joke’s on you I actually like bagpipe music you decomposing bitch.
Nice try, bee swarm, you're dumped.
'Venmo each other some tity'
“sick fursuit, jeezy boy.”
Almost had her
What a headline!
“Take a multivitamin you melodramatic Victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses”
This whole thing
Or at least I hope it's a new one...
It feels really pro-dog overall
Mike pence’s full name is mechanical pencil.
A vessel for pasta
penis detection software
Make the next one count, boys
Mom says it's my turn on the gender
3 hens for a titty
to whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I'm in public.
Snipped in the butt
One big sperm cell
“I swear to god I will insert each coin one by one into your ass.”
These are the sort of sentences that this subreddit was made for.
Chorus of children
BEND TO MY WILL METAL SKY BIRD
And i mean no one
I would probably still try them
This really speaks for itself
The Jewish-Japanese Sex and Cook Book and How to Raise Wolves, and 256 pages of brand new sentences
Muslim Spider-man debates Black Hebrew Israelites in Times Square NYC
Honestly, furries ruin all the fun
Shipped to the Pearly Gates
Marsupial fighting championship
Is this world even worth living in
Cool dog isn't a narc and becomes a scientist
When you bust a nut just for that nut to bust you
lookin at Willy’s phat ass
Well... That's a new one I think.
When the rapture comes you're already in missile silo mode to bust out of there.
Another problem Eels don't need
I will fight for my rights you cucumber fuck
All of this. Jesus
She’s not like other girls
“It looks like boiled lung cancer”
This entire thing
The hobgoblins took all my happy juice
“Great, now I could get raped by General Grievous and nobody would believe me”
In one sick-ass move,
Life's too short for me not to piss on your pillow rn tbh
Who said Muslim girls can’t ride Ferris wheels
Might get haunted, but I'm leaving each shift in a Bentley with Casper and his homies in the back.
I started to lose weight after I had a dream that Obama called me a fatass.
Dwarf Gordon ramsay lookalike pornstar found dead in badger den half eaten
Sonic's thicc ass is the last straw
Well that’s a lot to take in
Look how bobs fat flows into the radiator
Cute ass yeehaw shit
U to the S to the fuckin A
“Using the earth as a vibrator”
another problem eels don’t need
“Houses are just Tupperware and we are God’s leftovers.”
Sauron knows your license plate and stares into your soul
Vaginas are skin pockets
This is why I keep my skin closed at all times.
Baby pony, big ol boney
Harsh but fair
Crip walking on my casket
Does this count?
Non Americans of Reddit, what is the craziest rumor you heard about America that turned out to be true?
Mr Mime has a humiliation fetish and Ash's mom totally doms him
Lil trumps almost ripe
Blind bisexual goose named Thomas who spent six years in a love triangle.......
Immovable walls of Thanos’ mighty rectum
New Southern Quotes
We can ask the Zombie Wrangler to wake up all of the waxed corpses.
The last sentence is really something, huh
In his defense it’s very early and he’s racist
We'RRRRRRe just not good for each otheRRRRR
Tell it Michael
He died for a better future
The void is loud and wants chicken
Happy birthday, Steamie!
Ribbed condoms don't even taste like ribs
“What’s the password for your vape.”
A naked man with altered DNA
The world is 70% water buddy and, and AT MOST 30% car
Wyoming man found with 30 eyeballs in his anal cavity
I mean I would.
“You’d only need to throw 17 cats into a black hole to power Norway for a year”
goin thru my cum with a magnifying glas…
Our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning
Did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little Simpsons demon
Best type of porn
Each and every word was another punch to the gut
“I’d simply fuck Hitler’s mom”
Who's under that mask?
The next fitness craze
Every single time