soak it in olive oil
Life Pro Tip.
Smoked myself back to segregation
He should at LEAST be vibing.
Keeping social media presentable
The wet world is a bad place
How else would you name dinosaurs?
We’ll keep ye plump as a partridge
Hottie hot take 🔥
I didn't think I would ever read this sentence in my life
Expensive potato that barks at the wind
Get pissed on by my own house?
“Somehow managed to sire both beavis and also butthead”
Cyberbullied and entire studio
“No one gets lynched for exfoliating”
Skeet skeet your new daddy’s a llama
Infinity vape gauntlet
“Gays are using windmills to waft homosexual mists into your home”
Come here my lil Chernobyl mutation
those are the holes poked in the container so we can breathe
Did human trafficking write this?
I’m jaquing off to porneaux
Well that’s a pivot
I want to move to New Jersey
Brad and his cloud of LIES
Have we checked all food to see if exploding them makes them into something better, or did we just stop with corn?
Being medium ugly is lit.
Perks of being an immortal being
dont waste yr time on this earth live your life slap some rice
Square Roots of Living Beings
I do not vibe with this soil.
Mainstream consonants ugh
Name that shit death megatron 300
Is America the rest of the world's Florida?
Cotton Eye Joe has been terminated
Babies are absolutely biodegradable
I'm sort of a chicken magnet
“A loose cannon eventually points your way”
my fart is on the floor
Each Scot would have to fight off around 114 cats
Julius in the coolius
the whole plate
“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”
pull a shiv on you to demand money for their meth habit
been a longtime lurker on this sub. finally found one that really spoke to me
Get down Jeezy Boy
Well this is concerning
ARE YOU SAYING WALUIGI HAS NO FREE WILL
Just everything about this sentence to be honest
Suck santa’s dick like the rest of us
Y'all ever just...
Stay fresh Cheese Bags!
Because I'm a caprisun
“I concur with you whole heartedly my African brother”
Makeup brand new lexicon
NOT A SQUIRREL
when youre this cute money *does* grow on trees
I really wish people would check if the sentence is brand new before posting it here
And a sand repellent anus
A non profit whoreganization
Escape proof wiener bun
These hands bisexual
Bread crumb dealer
Oil execs dip their hands in big barrels of dinosaur juice to lube up every time they have a wank
Nude, gay, ghostly Brad Pitt
I wish I could go back to the way things were before I read this and it made sense to me
You may now have the good chemicals
the christmas pickle
Retweet if you miss the pangaea
pollen is nature’s Dorito dust
Baptizing u in cum
Talk to electricity
The IQ of a mcchicken
Some call me the Bathroom Wizard
“This post came into my house, took me by the ankles and swung me into every available surface”
“Yassssss sis clog dem arteries.”
smells like home
Never thought I’d see this combination of words
Leaving each shift in a Bentley with Casper and his homies in the back.
Fasten Your Meatbelt
We've lost Canada and Mexico to the hogs already
As shrimps usual do
Brand new and 100% accurate
Boris Johnson is actually this 19th century cross-dressing prostitute
I am the Silent Man. Now shut up.
Forcefield of tangerines no way
You measure that with your heart.
That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate the lord
Turd in a marshmallow
Suicide by donut
Cum jiu jitsu
This hurts, as a skinny guy
Almost had her
Just big ol leaves made of lies
'Venmo each other some tity'
Coughing like she had inhaled the industrial revolution
President is in months long twitter war with teenager
Joke’s on you I actually like bagpipe music you decomposing bitch.
Nice try, bee swarm, you're dumped.
Rat snitch Brian the good time ruiner
“sick fursuit, jeezy boy.”
Cotton eye joe “poem”
What a headline!
I too am quite long in dog years
The sports drinks of belligerent champions
fucks off 20 miles east
Mexican Food > Jedi Warrior
Expectation vs Reality
Would like to buy this guy a beer and hear his story
Me is the video maker man
I can't wait to have antlers and only speak in clicks and whistles
This whole thing
God's Rotisserie Chickens
You invited us here to celebrate genitals, Karen.
“Take a multivitamin you melodramatic Victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses”
This tip has saved me multiple times. Stay woke.
All aboard the train to neck town
I feel like this belongs here
Or at least I hope it's a new one...
“Hotel air conditioners feel how McDonald’s Sprite tastes.”
Drinking my toast